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He denies me Beauty

Despising me for my Love of It

yet but a twisted whimper of wrath

is his claim upon a fame.

Should thou peer keenly

upon the wrinkle set over brow

what once was mistook

for mark of great thought

shall prove to be naught

but crevasse of envy

pressed ever more deeply

‘neath beguiled weight

of self-doubts.

Why then should I

invite upon mine own mind

the burdens of thee

whom would seek to shackle me

within fortress walls

bereft of Life?

For is it not true

that your denial of a Thing

can no more cease the existence

of that Thing

than it can prevent

my Love upon It?

I will not fret you further

in these matters and Ways

yet will choose to full Heartedly Embrace

all of my Greatest and Truest Loves

wasting not yet another moment

indeed many sunrises of moments

in a denial of That which is found

pleasurable unto Mine Very Soul

so that you might find a small

indeed dismally small comfort

through your banal denials

of Beauty and Love

so that one’s self

finds preservation within

a misery of righteous Wrongs.

© Sharon Brodbeck  10.15.2022

Into The Mystic

Word Up on me Not with lingual love

Forget me Please if this is all that you offer;

to sleazy Seize that which you desire

yet noncommittal Be Thee still to the fires;

that Truest Love brings to aLight

attempt Ye’ Not to break it down for me

how you suffered by others and trusted not

for I am not they whom minced words and actions

truths loosed from my heart shared freely from honest tongue

an unmeasurable many times

to be met only by your backward facing ears

unable to meet me present;

for Past wrongs bethought of from others

held you closely and stroked One’s fragile ego

lest accountability take hold and require greater effort

to seize upon a new day

and enter Genuine relation with another

such as I

where one’s each and every action

is an Expression of Love

and not merely a pumped up word

dialogued strategically with guile

merely meant to excuse one of misaligned deeds;

and non-deeds; indeed!

Woe unto He that plays his hand as such

for lonely be the days and nights

that hence forth come from such self serving pantomimes

So again I say with kindness;

though you might doubt that to be true

Word Up on Me Not! and properly

Forget Me True!

for undoubtedly the best course Be

to walk separately our Rested Lives through.

Sharon Brodbeck 09.01.21

Into The Mystic

Old Moon Ponderings

My body is a temple

my body is a tomb

my body has given birth

and been birthed

by another body’s womb

what womb, I muse, shall birth me

back into the ethers

from hence I once came

born in to this world of matter

to play at an oft times cruel game.

Sharon Brodbeck 07.30.21

Into The Mystic

Claim Thy Heart

Once tiny girls

With Loving, searching Hearts

Misunderstood

Our Hearts fell apart

Gifting a small piece

To each we did meet

Hoping it to be enough

Our wells now hidden deep

As time went by

We put aside our dreams

Our little girls surviving

By any and all means

Little girls long tucked away

Women, we’ve now become

Our hearts broken, scattered far and wide

Belonging to no One

“Women, summon your little girl

the time has come you see,

to gather the many pieces

make your Heart one for Thee”

With Hearts brought Whole

Shine Your Love

Release the pain harbored within

Allow your Heart

To tone it’s tune

Weave your Dreams

Once Again

Sharon Brodbeck ‘2005

Into The Mystic

I should have told you that I had already decided whom you were going to be, long before you even arrived.

I should have told you that I was never going to love you because I was too busy hating myself.

I should have told you that I noted every little, and big, thing about you that didn’t exactly fit the “You” of my preconceptions and that I truly believed I could help you fix all of them.

I should have told you that I never really knew you at all when I said, “I do”.

I should have told you that if you were not willing to kill everything that you uniquely were, to be the Prince that I imagined you to be, that you should not have said, “I do”, in return.

I should have told you that I had no idea of whom I was so there was never any real possibility of you knowing me either.

I should have told you that every time I expected you to respond to me in the exact same manner that the Prince in my head did, and you failed to meet that expectation, I hated you a bit more for letting me down again.

I should have told you that though I hated you I hated myself exponentially more for failing to be the perfection that I apparently needed to be for my Prince to arise from within you.

I should have told you all of this and so much more; yet I could not for I could not tell what I did not then know myself.

It would be my experiencing of you, and other non-princes, that would lead me to these truths that once evaded me.

All of these fore mentioned confessions I place before you and to these confessions I do now add the following;

I now tell you that you, exactly as you truly were not how I imaged you to be, were perfect for the then version of me, though I could not then see it.

I now tell you that I miss your smile and that I have never met another whom could tell a joke even half as well as you.

I now tell you that I tell our story of gaming and boozing and dancing and laughter, when we were young and broke and all alone, and it is told with a happy heart and a tear.

I now tell you that your dance moves, all two of them, were bad; really truly Awful.

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On Grief

Let your grief be as a warm blanket passed down through many generations of those that also have weathered this storm and added to this rich weave the thread of their own survival;

As the icy winter gale wails and thrashes and moans about you, a mirror to all that you have locked within, allow the weight of this blanket to anchor you to the world you fear is being torn away from beneath you;

Find the assurance within the thick wrapping of so many common threads, that even though you now feel threatened within every fiber of your being by the storm that rages on both around you and within you, you will indeed survive this tempest to meet with a new dawn;

Though you may emerge from this period bearing the bruises of the gale that engulfed you, homage to the truth of your ordeal, you will add your own thread of wisdom, born of your companionship with grief, to the ageless blanket that shall be lovingly availed to the next whom finds themselves in need of it.

© Sharon Brodbeck 9.29.2022

Into The Mystic

I knocked on the doorway marked Freedom; yet no one answered.

I knocked many times more and awaited the door being swung open wide by the will of another; yet still it remained shut up.

Fuming and flummoxed I collapsed upon the doorstep.

I sat wearily for hours; indeed it felt to be many lifetimes so exhausted was I by the futility of my efforts to obtain entry to the Hearth of Freedom through the doings of another.

With emotions now spent, and will brought low, I arose once again; resolved to take leave and intent upon abandoning my afore sought objective.

While standing with gaze upon bulwark entryway and devoid of previous desire, an acceptance of my defeat, a whispered thought stilled my leave and I found my arm extending tentatively toward the knob of the door.

With expectation previously placed upon the deeds of others released, my fingers encircled the knob;

And So It Was, that with the Turning of Thought and Hand, I did now with great ease achieve the entry to the Freedom I long sought.

I share the undoing of this long suffered self-riddle now, as I rest within these Halls of Grace, and I offer this Truth hence gleaned;

Always it was I, and I alone, that were responsible to My Freedom; for none could give what they had not taken but merely as burden had received when once I had erroneously cast forth my destiny upon their efforts and deeds.

Sharon Brodbeck 09.28.2022

Into The Mystic

As I sipped my coffee this rainy morning, watching the happenings at the feeders through the kitchen window, I spied the young male cardinal tucked solitary into the lower branches of an Elderberry Queen.

I followed the cardinal’s downward tilted gaze and laughed; a male squirrel that I have christened “Gets Along with Birds” was frantically rummaging through the new morning offering of seeds upon a split log.

Undoubtedly the intention of our squirrel friend was to bury most of his seed finds yet he appeared consumed with an equal desire to fill his belly with these delicious morsels; his frantic pace possibly a result of irritation stemming from his own indecisiveness.

Resident finches and sparrows chirp as they congregate happily around the iron ground feeder; a clear signal that their greet and eat this morning is an enjoyable one. A few errant doves waddle about the brassica bed, pecking here and there as they roam, occasionally extending a wing as the steadier rain dwindles to a lighter drizzle.

Nowhere that my eyes did drift had I spotted the female cardinal so seemingly her mid-morning interlude kept her elsewhere; I glanced back to where her companion had been a few moments before finding he had now placed himself on the curled iron top of the shepherds hook while still awaiting his turn to feed at the log.

I found myself drifting into a brief reflection as to how I arrived at this moment of such contentment and peace afforded to me through my relationship with these petite wild-ones.

It has only been a few short years since my three beloved fur children had returned to Spirit yet I see now clearly that it was in their departure that the space was created and seeded for these precious moments that I am now experiencing to exist.

Though the transition of my little soul mates and occurrence of subsequent events was not the only time I had experienced this truth it would seem that the gravity of my grief during this most recent “loss” delivered this wisdom to me in a manner that I now behold as Truth.

It is with that last thought that I hear quite simply;

“Every Parting offers us a Gift; sometimes it just takes us a while to unwrap it.”

And so it IS.

S.B. 9.22.2022

Into The Mystic

The Webs once Spun;

I have seen Undone

yet damage not their Spinners

To glorious Queens of this Autumn Age

a Litany offered before grand display

of these finest silver woven wonders

With respect made plain;

a last delicate tendril lifted from furled brow

considerate of entanglement lessons gleaned

I am free; I Am Free!

no longer these mortal webs shall encumber me

and though I loathe not

those that sought to bind

be mindful we no more shall meet

lest it be sincerely understood

the Merry Part offering

 of our Sacred greet.

S.B. 9.18.2022

Into The Mystic

Under today’s Virgo New Moon I began to harvest more earnestly than I have in these past many months of summer. Soybeans were lifted from their space of seasonal residency; aerial parts fully intact and nicely dried with roots left unto the Earth undisturbed. I resettled one little winged friend from the dried stalks, placing him upon the dried leaves now strewn about where the soybeans had recently stood.

Lemon in Garden 2022

Dried lima beans were gathered for a future life, seeds to be sown somewhere other than here I suspect. If that be true I will miss very little of the company that I have kept while here; almost all of my favored loves have departed this place before me. There is one whom I would miss greatly; my sweet little Lemon whom came in the midst of my sorrows and offered me companionship of the canine kind once again. I hold a hope that she and I will not be too far apart geographically as to prevent our visiting with each other.

Red bell peppers perfectly formed and hued are snipped and placed within the large metal colander, nestled atop earlier plucked Roma and Beefsteak tomatoes, the base for a tomato basil sauce to be created later this day. If time allows this sauce will be processed in Ball jars and then saved to be shared with new companions, if my sense of things before me is accurate, some not too distant day from now.

I now notice the condition of the cherry tomatoes upon three of the individual plants that I have not picked from in the past week. While many appear ripe and perfect to the eye, my taste buds have found them quite wanting for flavor even though they had received more attention, and better living conditions, then some of their other plant neighbors.

 It has been a rather disappointing cherry tomato season.

Last spring I had inadvertently lost track of my tomato seedling varieties. After sharing some seedlings with others, and planting for myself those that remained, I was disappointed when I realized that I had not kept one single orange cherry plant that I adore for my garden.  I placated myself with the knowledge that I still had an abundance of seeds for that variety and would be able to enjoy it again next season.

Quickly I file a mental note to return to these plants this evening, when it is cooler, with an intention to remove them to the compost for regeneration. I do not wish to waste any more energy attending to that which is unlikely to produce fruit that is desirable to my palate. Returning to my garden chores I clear the garden bed of the dropped, over-ripe and now undesirable fruits.

As the sun rises higher and the resident birds and squirrels rustle in the brush, the sounds omitting from their restless movements conveys their desire for me to retire indoors so that once again they might fully claim their space at feeders and water bowls.

I return to the last watering to be done for the morning.

With watering can in hand I tread across the grass now richly interspersed with plantain, feet bare today, enjoying the sole sensations arising from the meeting of flesh upon soft, cool earth.

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