When we come to the understanding that no one has the power to force our participation in any relationship, ideal or situation we then embrace a new perspective concerning the act and nature of Forgiveness.
From this new perspective me find we must be forgiving only unto ourselves for that which we feel has caused us pain or offense for without our willing participation we would not have experienced that which attributed to our perceived affliction.
When we have forgiven ourselves and stand within our personal sovereignty we no longer feel a need to attribute to others our good nor bad fortunes for we claim sole and complete responsibility for our choices and their subsequent consequences.
We are then freed of a need to forward forgiveness to another, for in truth, there was never anything to forgive since they could not have been the cause of our misfortune if we had not allowed them to be so.
If you are struggling with forgiveness in your life, bless yourself with forgiveness first for your participation with an individual or situation.
Be accepting when you suddenly find that you no longer feel as if you need to offer forgiveness to an other(s) for now any feelings that you once attributed to them that caused you to feel pain have already been released by your willingness to take accountability and accept grace, for yourself.
Blessings, Kachina
Into the Mystic 
Kachina, I appreciate this and also am not sure I can agree totally. Those of us with intimate relationships and anger issues may find (as I do) that offering forgiveness to self and others, too, is essential. Anger towards another yields obstinacy; obstinacy precludes listening with empathy to another’s thoughts and feelings; our partners may be genuinely hurt by our anger and its fruit.
Or we may be on that end of things; we may have been hurt by another’s anger.
Typically, both parties have been hurt.
In practice, then, I’d suggest that forgiveness is offered to self first and then to others, and maybe that this is even metaphysically true.
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Lee,
I can appreciate your thoughts upon this yet for myself I have repeatedly found that the true root of my anger for an other(s) when worked through was always an anger directed to myself. After releasing the self-anger I have repeatedly found that I am no longer angry with the other party.
What is truly important in these matters is that we find what works for us personally and apply it to achieve the state of forgiveness that allows both parties to move forward free of past pain/attachments no matter which approach is chosen and used.
Thanks for sharing! Kachina
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Lee,
Yes, I have come back again. 🙂
I really do appreciate your sharing your views! When I logged off here I realized you had jump started the wheels and now I am having many thoughts as to the nature of anger and why we feel it and what it is that leads us to forgiveness to begin with.
Possibly another post on the way..just waiting to see where it leads and allowing the pieces to mesh.
Kachina
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Mark,
It has been shown that anger, along with surprise, sadness, fear, happiness, and disgust, is a primary or universal emotion. People across multiple cultures can identify correctly the visage associated with each of them, when presented with facial pictures for review.
The primary emotions are wired into the brain in various parts of the brain stem, deep inside the brain. Anger is reptilian, instinctive and most often asociated primarily by the denial of basic needs, or the interuption in having them taken away…..this gives rise to FEELINGS such as grief, worry, resentment and others. It may become possible to become aware, or feel the feelings, but they are not primary.
It gets played out like ABC…..Action, your Belief about the action and then the Consequence arising, which include feelings. Change the beliefs around the incident and moderate the emotional consequence thereby….I think all this was said with brevity and hence more powerfully as… transform yourself by the renewing of your mind.
I have often intellectulized, or rather run around in feelings wondering where the origin was. If you could know where they came from ,then you could slay the dragon so to speak..air grand trine, aquarian moon, scorpio rising, so come by it honestly….this ABC model has simplified the process and allowed a measure of peace as plutonic/scorpio dynamic (52 points!) with stuffed anger is an awful road for all concerned.
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Mark,
Your point made when you state: “Anger is reptilian, instinctive and most often asociated primarily by the denial of basic needs, or the interuption in having them taken away…..this gives rise to FEELINGS such as grief, worry, resentment and others.” is key here and thank you for pointing this out. 🙂
I view anger as being serving to us as long as we utilize it to adjust our involvement in a current situation that is best serving to us. It ensures our ‘safety’ or well-being when we listen to what it is telling us and do not use it as a projection towards others.
Resentment and the like are states spawned of repressing anger and not allowing it to direct us towards proper actions in a situation hence these states then can lead to a feeling of a need to come to the act of forgiveness.
Hence when we practice conscious awareness and deal with each situation as it arises we never enter the territory of resentment and the like leading to a need for more release work from past situations.
Thank you for sharing!
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Thanks to you both. I am looking forward to reading more. 🙂
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You are welcome to share here any time you wish.
We learn and grow together within our sharing spaces. 🙂
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A wonderful meditation, Kachina. And an example of how brevity can be more powerful than writing at length–when you’ve said the truth, it just stands on its own!
The part about the root being anger at yourself is especially potent. I have struggled with mastering and ridding myself of resentments and forgiveness issues a very long time–maybe longer than many of your readers have even been alive. (A strong Pluto can be like that.) And to recognize that I’ve been directing it outward to the wrong people, when I need to zero in on forgiving myself first, well, that really helps!
Thanks once again. Donna Cunningham
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Thank you Donna.
I too, have had a long road with anger and I am hopefully at the end of dealing with all of the past related issues of it and am blessed to have insights arising in rapid order now.
Having Moon/Pluto/Mars/NN in a grand cross (if you count the NN in that configuration and I sure do because I’ve had to live it..lol) has ensured that either I deal with these anger issues and own it, or a situation will develop in lightening speed that forces me to get back into the driver seat and own my power properly.
I am glad my meditations have been of help to you for certainly your materials have been of huge benefit to me. Kachina
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So well put! I have spent the better part of the last year learning to forgive myself, first, and then…. everything seems to fall into place. More than one relationship has done a 180 degree turn due to this – the individuals in question have come back into my life and the relationships have evolved to the next level of the great spiral. I, too have strong Pluto – on my midheaven, conjunct Uranus, opposite Saturn – it’s been a journey, but I don’t regret any of it. Blessings!
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AH Yeshe!
Synchronicity is always divine..for I just spoke to you (you are the same Yeshe here and there I believe?) in thanks for sharing over at Aq. Papers and here you are sharing with me! 🙂
Seems we traverse the same lessons at this time and it is wonderful to share and bring greater clarity to our experiences and understandings.
Blessings!
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Beautifully expressed. It resonates deeply with me. Thank you.
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You’re very welcome Elizabeth. 🙂
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